Written by lancemartin
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Monday, 24 December 2007

WASHINGTON - Several New England Patriots past and present have admitted being loyal to the Crown and may be charged with treason, the FBI said.

"This is an unabashed attempt to overthrow the United States government and such acts will not be tolerated," President Bush said during his morning news conference. "The FBI has informed me several New England Patriots are mere Redcoats, disloyal to the principles of the United States government."

In harsh terms the president called these people "Red turncoats disguised in the garb of loyal Americans."

The FBI said at least five New England Patriots are expected to be charged immediately and an investigation continues.

At least three of the Patriots to be arrested include current New England Patriots Tom Brady, Randy Moss and Wes Welker.

Former offensive tackle John Hannah is to be charged as is former place kicker Adam Vinatieri, who is living in Indianapolis.

"We used to hear them talk of their loyalty to the king," said former defensive end Bob Dee. "I thought it was just mere locker room talk. I never thought they were serious."

The FBI confirmed different Patriots over time indeed plotted to overthrow the U.S. government.
"I used to call them a bunch of idiot tories," former quarterback Steve Grogan confirmed. "Some of the things they talked about chilled me to the bone; bombing of government buildings, poisoning the president; I could go on and on," he said.

Former quarterback Jim Plunkett said he was also concerned. "How could they be so disloyal after we fought so hard to win our freedom? They're clearly nothing but disturbed lobsterbacks."
Forefront in the conspiracy may be current leader - or coach as the loyalist tories call him - Bill Belichick, the FBI said. "We certainly believe he will be charged and has been perpetuating anti-government sentiment long before his arrival in New England."

Belichick said he was unconcerned. "If they want to pin that on me then let them prove it. They've got nothing on me."

Sources say the FBI has a lot on Belichick, including numerous calls to London and the lyrics to "God Save the King" found stuffed in an chest of drawers.

"We certainly expect him to be among those charged," an FBI agent speaking on condition of anonymity said.

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