Written by shea lo
Print this

Sunday, 23 December 2007

image for Osama bin Laden located - in Guantanamo Bay!
osama located

Despite billions of dollars spent on "The War on Terror"; unconditional support to the illegitimate government of Pakistan's Musharraf and a poorly conducted Afghan operation, Al-Qaeda CEO Osama bin Laden has remained at large.

The top 'wanted' man in the US's famous Deck of Cards appears to have teased, taunted and titillated the Pentagon for the past 6 years.

Numerous Pakistani hotshots - here today, gone tomorrow - ("our best non-NATO allies" according to the Pentagon), have consistently denied that Osama was hiding in their country.

Now, in an explosive statement, newly released Guantanamo detainee Rashid al-Rashid, a UK citizen informed reporters:

"The US has virtually bankrupted itself trying to find Osama when all along he has been hiding under their very noses. Osama was captured back in 2002 and transported to Gitmo but for some reason the Americans missed the fact that they had actually nabbed their prize catch.

"As we speak he is thriving in a nice clean cell where he is well looked after. I have seen and spoken to him many times during my captivity. He said that the fact that he had shaved his head and his beard and taken out his dentures before capture is probably what saved him and allowed him to remain incognito. 'They thought I was a poor, toothless, hunch-backed Pakistani farmer. Lucky for me that we all look the same to them', he told me."

Mr. Rashid says Osama appears to be quite happy where he is. "He's having a great time watching the Americans running around trying to 'locate' him when he's right there under their very noses. Besides, the cell is more comfortable than his cave, the food is very fresh and of good quality. The only thing he misses is Coca-Cola as he is a coke addict.

Mr. Rashid said the only reason why he had decided to 'out' Osama at this stage was for the reward.

"They've taken away 6 years of my life. It's very expensive living in London and the reward money will help me take care of my 52 relatives who live near Finsbury Park"

Copyright 2007 shea lo

Make shea lo's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 3?

8 12 6 3
47 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more