Warbling tosser Chris De Bergh has been deported to Iran by Gordon Brown after a special request by President President George Bush in an effort to scare the Iranians into submission.
Troops stationed in Afghanistan and Iraq noted that Chris De Bergh albums played on full volume had the same effect on the general population as a full bombing raid and this tactical information was passed on to "U.K and U.S.A intelligence"-otherwise known as tabloid newspapers.
The hairy-browed egotistical little hobbit-lookalike will become the first Western artist to make audiences vomit there since the Islamic state revolution in 1979.
The shrunken fluffy-assed reptile last had a hit with the classic "Lady in Red" which became known as "Lady in Dread" after a thousand long, long days at number one.
The director of Taraneh Sharghi music company, said the collaboration was intended "to break the spirit of the Iranian people before the world".
The prune-like dribbling toss-artiste has expressed his desire to play Iran, the only country left in the world where he still holds a degree of popularity, mainly due to confusion between himself, Chris De Bergh, and top Middle eastern artiste, Christa Berg.