For years, centuries even, Men have always bragged about the size of their peckers as if it were important. Now in a shocking new revelation it will be important and finally the truth will come out.
The European Union have decided to introduce a new tax called The New Members Tax. The forms are currently being prepared in Brussels to be sent to every male (aged 16 or above) in the European Union early next year. They will need to be completed by April 1st 2008 in readiness for the new tax year.
A spokesman for the EU Anatomical Research and Revenues Department, (AARD), Dick Johnson, told me:
"The only thing that the EU has not taxed yet is your penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is pissed off, 20% of the time it is hard up, and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of this, it has two dependents and both are nuts."
Dick's colleague, Peter Checker, from the same department, also informed me that men's appendages will have to be inspected by 'hand-maidens' and then taxed by size with the results being recorded on form PN-15. The expected tariffs will be as follows:
- 10-12 inches Luxury Tax €50.00
8-10 inches Pole Tax €30.00
6-7 inches Privilege Tax €15.00
4-5 inches Nuisance Tax €5.00
Anyone under 4 inches may be eligible for a refund and are asked not to ask for an extension.
Additionally, males exceeding 12 inches must file under Capital Gains.
AARD advises that if you own shares in Pfizer, then sell before the market flops!