Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Sunday, 16 December 2007

image for Dawkins announces 'Actually, I'm God!'
Richard Dawkins

The famous author, atheist, geneticist and God-botherer Richard Dawkins has caused controversy by announcing that he is the all-knowing creator of the universe.

At a press conference this afternoon, he said, "This may seem a little unusual, and I realise not everyone will accept what I say, but it's true. I am God.

"I am sure you are aware of the big bang - well, I did that."

It was pointed out to Mr Dawkins that for years he has been successfully promoting his atheism and disproving the existence of God, so how did he reconcile that with his new belief.

"This was my plan all along. I needed to wean you off your old Gods so you would be ready for me. In a way I was right, there is no God - except me. And I'm always right, because I'm God. So no matter what you say, it doesn't matter, I'll be able to get out of the argument."

Another journalist asked if he had any demands as God. He replied, "No, other than that you worship me only. But if you don't then there's not much I can do, since I don't believe in heaven or hell."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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