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Wednesday, 12 December 2007

image for Cunning linguistics at play in Pakistani politics - Bhutto says "hum elections definitely winnenge" - copycat Musharraf argues "Benazir 200% loosenge"
vox populii

[ISLAMABAD]: A new war of words is taking place in the Pakistani capital. Amidst all the brouhaha and usual rhetoric of who is more a democrat, who is more the true defender and protector of the nation; who can truly put the bickering country on the true path to success, etc. comes a new patois - Urdish

The unique 'English-Urdu-speak' is the creation of Benazir Bhutto, whose linguistic gymnastics and verbal distortions of the national tongue, Urdu, resulted in the famous: "Hum elections definitely winnengey", which she said with certitude - despite her earlier reservations:

"Elections rigged ho gaye hey, Emergency still force mein hey."

Not to be outdone, Musharraf himself - at best a cunning linguist - at worst a manipulative mangler- vaulted into the fray. Adding to his earlier declarations: "Extremists bahut extreme hein, emergency soon removengey" he concluded: "Deal nahin makengey, deal-making finish ho gaya hey".

Leader of the Pervez Musharraf League, Chaudhry Shujaat Hussein, proving he is a true sycophant added his Dus Paise worth, with these immortal words:

"200% definitely Benazir aur PPP elections loosengey. BB ko power-lust hai. PML(Q) 98% seats winnengey, Ruling party gomment formengey, hum again Pakistan ko rulengey"

In no time verbal volleys were being traded. Even Nawaz Sharif and Imran Khan, who on an otherwise normal day in Pakistan, speak Urdu more fluently, added their eloquent bits, with Nawaz confessing:

"Elections ke barey mein humko good feelings nahin hey"; and concluding: "Jab PML-N elections winnengey hum sub supreme court justices ko restorengey. PCO ko zuroor, absolutely invalidatengey".

Finally, Imran Khan himself thundered:

"Musharraf conman hai"; "Benazir bahut greedy kleptocrat hai"; "Pakistan entire world ke laughing stock bun gaya hai", "Western countries ko Pakistan mey bilkool, absolutely no faith hai"

Western reporters who normally rely on interpreters (aka govt stoolies) were pleasantly pleased to be able to directly proceed with filing their stories instead of waiting for the mandatory government clarification "Actually what the President meant..."

Said BBC's very own Man-on-the-ground, Atticus Dramaticus: "Hum very happy hein that hum totally politicians ko understand kartey hein. Yeh Urdish words bahut easy hein!! Sub jolly good hein"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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