Written by shea lo
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 12 December 2007

image for Pakistan election results already decided - January 8, 2008 heralds Year One of the "Pervez Dynasty" - Troika of Pervezes to rule for 5-10 years.
pervez dynasty - valley of the kings

Borrowing a page from the handbook of another 'trusted US ally' - the late Shah of Iran - Pakistan's Prez Musharraf put on a Persepolis type show, while handing over the Keys to the Kingdom to his trusted, hand-picked (namesake) General Ashfaq (Pervez) Kayani.

Whereas the Persepolis Tent City spectacle had been a megalomaniacal orgy intended to showcase Iran's 'contemporary advancements' under the administration of Mohammed Reza Pahlavi, Pervez's Farewell do was somewhat parsimonious in comparison - his US handlers had refused to cough up another 10 million for the extravaganza.

However, the lack of funding did not in any way diminish the theatrics of the mincing-prancing, high-kicking Monty Pythonesque revue put on by the parading troops. To the strains of that famous Pakistani army farewell "Auld Lang Syne" - General Pervez Musharraf became plain old Mr. Musharraf.

But, the drama that is Pakistani politics continues. Now, Chaudhry Pervaiz Elahi, the former Chief Minister of Pakistan's Punjab province has stated that once he is elected Prime Minister, he will ensure that Musharraf's influence "would live on for at least 5-10 years".

Holding court for reporters at his upscale residence in Lahore, where a fleet of brand new Range Rovers crowded the driveway, Pervaiz Elahi said he envisioned a 'troika' of Pervezes ruling Pakistan for the next 5 to 10 years.

Called the "Pervez Dynasty" and blessed by the soon-to-be Burned out Bush, it would be headed by the new civilian Pharoah Pervez Musharraf; protected by the new Army Chief Charioteer Ashfaq Pervez Kayani; and administered behind the scenes by himself Grand Vizier Chaudhry Pervaiz Elahi.

Pervaiz Number 3 said the elections would be "fair and transparent" because Pakistan had borrowed pre-stuffed ballot boxes from fair-weather friend China, "where the whole world knows that 'free and fair one-party democratic elections' are held regularly with desired results"

He also added that his party the PML(Q), headed by his cousin - [or the Pervez Musharraf League (Quislings)- as it is known to most Pakistanis], would sweep the elections, because they had already disqualified the Sharif brothers; jailed the judiciary; maintained the 'Emergency' and engaged in 'seat-to-seat adjustment' with their minor coalition partners.

He said , "this will ensure that Benazir Bhutto is completely wiped out as despite our scandal-mongering and forging of her signature on various documents, polls show she is more popular than we thought.

Also, we have promised our Saudi patrons that we will ensure there is no way a woman can rule our glorious falling-apart republic."

Make shea lo's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 4?

2 22 4 7
83 readers are online right now!

Go to top