Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 12 December 2007

image for Teddy Bears Postpone Annual Teddy Bear Picnic After Silly Sudanese Standoff
Teddies unhappy yesterday

The Teddy Bear Council of Great Britain, has this morning postponed its plans for this year's Annual Teddy Bear Picnic, due to the astonishing and bewildering Sudanese Teddy Bear Row.

Teddies everywhere are up in arms about the incident, and many say they have been unable to discharge their normal nightly duties, which are, to help little children get to sleep peacefully.

One Teddy, writing on a Teddy Bear website, told readers:

"Due to the ridiculous situation in Sudan, we feel it would be inappropriate at this time to hold the annual picnic. We are acutely aware of the sensitivity towards Islam. It will now be held right smack bang in the middle of Ramadan."

Muslims everywhere have condemned Teddy Bears for the move, and the Islamic Fundamentalist Organisation of Terror have said in a video that they will wreak retribution on the heads of infidels and Teddy Bear lovers alike.

In the video, seen on Arabic TV station al-Jazeera, a hostage Teddy Bear can be seen blindfolded, and is being threatened with a machete. His fur appears worn.

Teddy Bears, who love their picnics, have voiced their support for the postponement despite the massive disappointment it represents. Spokesman Eddie Burr said:

"We love picnics but when a life is at stake, it's time to get things in perspective."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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