Written by Rob Bruce
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Wednesday, 12 December 2007

image for American Citizenship For Beckham: Vows to Win World Cup For USA

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA -- English football hero David Beckham is getting cheers from America and jeers from England today as he announced that he will play the next world cup for America. Since his move to North American Soccer, there has been a team of American immigration lawyers scouring law books looking for any loophole to get Beckham his citizenship early.

Attorney Harold Dewey accompanied Beckham to the news conference today, saying, "We've found it! in 1912, the 'Rocky Hughes' law was enacted which gives foreigners who have been living in the United States at least a year early citizenship if it is for the purpose of competing for the United States in international sporting events."

Rocky Hughes was a Canadian long jumper who was attending university in Massachusetts in 1910-1912. He broke every college jumping record in 1911. Seeing a sure medal in the upcoming Olympics, the law was hastily passed by the US Congress. Weeks before the Olympics Mr. Hughes broke his leg and his citizenship was revoked. This is the only time this law was used.

Mr. Beckham is thrilled at the prospect of playing with his new countrymen. "I was never truly appreciated in England," he said. "I'm looking forward to playing with these chaps, the talent pool runs a lot deeper in America than it does in England right now." Mr. Beckham then implied that he is unsure of whether the English will even qualify for the world cup in 2010.

The Chief Justice of the Supreme Court will give Mr. Beckham his oath of Citizenship on Jan 1, 2008. "Obviously, I've never won the world cup, but this is the best I've ever felt about my prospects," at which point Mr. Beckham took a small American Flag from the table in front of it and waved it in the air, "Go America."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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