Current studies by numerous credible universities have concluded that Journalists have run out of important things to report.
There is not much more to this story. However, did you know that they replaced that milk bar down the road with a Starbucks? I was shocked, however, I tried some of their coffee and I must say that it was pretty good.
Then I met a friend that I hadn't seen in many years, he said "Hello" and I replied with a quick "Hi, How are you?". The conversation continue in the same mundane way until I found an excuse to leave. Telling him I had to write a news report by a deadline set by my "nasty evil editors who look like rats", I quickly fled. Of course, I lied about the stuff I said about the editors. They are nice people... really... they are. And they don't look like rats.
P.S. Please editors, don't fire me.