Written by Bullshot Bill
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Topics: Christmas

Friday, 23 November 2007

image for Government Bans Xmas Decorations
Savior or terroist threat?

The Government of Austerica has issued a blanket ban on Christmas decorations, citing the risk of terrorist attack as justification.

A spokesman for the Department of Keeping Things Placid explained: "We all know that fundamentalist terrorists are determined to undermine our way of life, and what better time than Christmas."

A senior member of Austerican Subnormal Idiots Organisation (ASIO) claims that the recent spate of poisoned Chinese toys proves that Jewish fundamentalists who resent the penetration of happiness into world affairs could easily booby trap decorations, and really muck up celebrations. An opposition spokeswoman said: "Jesus Christ, what were they thinking?".

A representative of the Divine Association of Fundamental Terrorists (DAFT) said that any protest against the worship of the Christ Child was a legitimate target for protest, and said: "Who can afford the price of gifts these days? Better to blow them up."

Untidy States of Amnesia President George W. Shrub said "It's about time these fundamentalists realised that what we believe is true, IS true, it really is, and if they don't like it we'll punch their goddamned Christmas lights out!".

UK Prime Minister Gordon Beige said: "We will certainly consider the argument on it's merits, and the do whatever is necessary to follow George's lead."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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