Written by Jesus Budda
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Topics: China, Baby, mattel

Tuesday, 20 November 2007

image for China selling Real Babies as christmas toys
It really wee-wee's!

Chinese Communist Party Official, Fuk Yu, has admitted that a sweat shop in the outskirts of Beijing has been selling real babies instead of plastic toy ones at it's factory.

The "dolls" were being sold under the popular brand name "Polly Pocket", and were being shipped in vast quantities to America and Europe in time for the pre-Christmas rush. Pregnant woman workers - in an attempt to keep up with world demand - had been 'donating' their own new-borns to factory bosses to aid the 'increase in productivity'. China has been suffering a downtown in plastic production this year - due to all the plastic been used up on making seats for Olympic sports stadiums - which is one reason given for the extreme actions.

In a dawn raid, police recovered 300 crate-loads of the abnormally shaped babies but acknowledged that there may be thousands more already sold to unsuspecting buyers. The recovered infants were sent into care at the local Xiang baby farm, where they are said to be in good shape. Many of the children will be programmed to be Olympic athletes or while others are being taught how to play "Chop Sticks" on miniature pianos.

"If your Polly Pocket eats, sh*ts, pee's itself or starts to grow dramatically and turn into an adult, then you probably have one of the fakes", said Consumer Monitor, Jenny Flex., "just take it back to your local friendly retailer and you'll get a full refund".

Toy makers Mattel have denied any knowledge of what had been taking place - despite similar f*ck ups at every single one of it's other Chinese toy factories. As of yesterday, a massive 20 foot razor-wire fence and security cordon is being built around the factory's perimeter.

"It's to keep nosy reporters out", said one Mattel spokewoman.

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