Written by Jesus Budda
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Sunday, 25 November 2007

image for "Get off Your High Horse" - Cops tell Rudi Giuliani over his Coke-snorting Pony
Giuliani with a newly "clean" Miss Pretty

Police in New York City were called the scene of a bizarre domestic incident involving Republican candidate Rudy Giuliani and his doped-up pet pony, Miss Pretty.

Upon arriving at the address, officers gained access to the building and attempted to brake up a "very vocal" war of words which continued on into the street.

"Mr. Giuliani became very agitated and aggressive when we tried to get him to come down off the animal", said one police source, "he refused to cooperate and said it was none of our business. It was obvious to us that the animal was under the influence of narcotics as it was stamping its hooves and snorting in a very threatening manner.

"We kept calling out for Mr. Giuliani to come down off his high horse. He told us to f*ck off and that he could take all our badges if we didn't leave him alone."

The incident ended when the animal wore itself out and decided to take a nap, at which point NYPD officers moved in.

"Apparently the disagreement was over Mr. Giuliani's insistence on enforcing a strict disciplinarian policy on the creature. He told us down at the station that he had given the pony, Miss Pretty, two previous chances to clean up it's act and that enough was enough. Mr. Guiliani is a stickler for law enforcement and tough 'love'- even on his closest animal friends".

Horse and politician have now been reunited and are said to be living together once again in a friendly and drug-free environment - except for the horse's new replacement habit of spraying graffiti all over the apartment and pissing on the carpet, which Mr. Giuliani grudgingly accepts.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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