Written by Jesus Budda
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Sunday, 18 November 2007

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A staggering 76% of human adults work in call center based employment, says the World Forum For Employment Statistics (WFEM).

"This number does not take into account young people such as students and school kids in part-time jobs who also take up placements at their local call center during breaks in their school term", says WEFM statitician, John T. Jefferies, "if we include them in our analysis then the number could be in the high 90's.

"With so many people doing this kind of work it's hard to see any future advancement in human evolution. Where are the farmers, the doctors, the garbage men? Our entire future is at stake. Where will we get our food from if everyone is busy calling people up offering cheap insurance or hassle-free loans? And who exactly are these people phoning in the first place? Each other?"

"Early man - specifically during the neolithic period - had a similar situation where all of their focus was in cave painting. Every man, woman and child spent their days scrawling pictures of animals and stuff on the sides of mountains. Thats how they died out. They simply couldn't adjust when the homo-sapien emerged with it's pencil and paper. The caveman stuck with impractical , pointless work - just like the modern call center".

The study also shows that the second largest proportion of employment is in the statistics field, with unpaid spoof writing coming a close third.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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