Written by Jean Le Fete
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Sunday, 18 November 2007

image for Paris Hilton to Help Homeless Men Straighten Up! Credits Roger Federer and George Clooney
Hey Guys! Paris Hilton Wants YOU!

New York, NY - Paris Hilton announced today that she as part of her new goal to build a legacy of truth and justice, she is going to do something extraordinary. She is going to try to help people.

While sitting in jail in L.A., Miss Hilton had the chance to reflect and after being abducted by aliens, she now believes she must do something with her life. She must do something that she will be remembered for besides her party girl image "I had a long time to reflect in the slammer and after being abducted by aliens, I believe I must do something with my life...something that I will be remembered for besides my party girl image," said Hilton, "When you go through something difficult as my life has been, you realize there are many less fortunate than you. That is why I have decided to adopt homeless men and bring them to my estate and hotels around the world to work as gardeners and plumbers, or swimming pool cleaners."

Hilton's change has not come overnight. She had to do a great deal of soul searching, "I had no soul," said Hilton, "It took me a great deal of searching to find it. It was in a closet full of old shoes, things I hadn't worn in days. Then I was at lunch one day with George Clooney and Roger Federer. We started talking about the homeless men on benches across from the cafe we were sitting in. I didn't really realize they were homeless until Roger and George explained it to me. I said 'I must go to them'."

The first man kind of spit at Hilton like a camel and the second man lurched forward and passed out. Hilton had the first man tazered and taken to her estate and the second man is now driving her limousine. "I've got to do this for man kind and the future of the world," said Hilton, "As Roger told me, 'Hilton with an ass like yours you could change the world'."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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