US based lawyer Bill "Big Boy" Bucks who has in the past carried out successful class action lawsuits against mothers (on behalf of their children), fathers (on behalf of their wives) and children (on behalf of their mothers and fathers) has today launched a class action suit against God.
He says that by evicting Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden God caused all of humanity ‘pain, suffering, loss of eternal life and the invention of tailoring." He also alleges that this act of wilfulness meant that God, feeling guilty, eventually had to "send his only begotten Son down to earth to try to save us from ourselves", and thereby created the conditions for religious strife and the emergence of fundamentalist Christians like G.W.Bush.
"God has a lot to answer for, in my view" Bucks told theSpoof, "and I'm gonna give him the chance to do so. And as we have DNA evidence to prove that everyone is descended from Adam and Eve, everyone will be entitled to a share of the payout. I tell you this is going to be one helluva case!"
Religious leaders are a little sceptical of the idea. "Dis guy's a nut" opined the Pope, "and dat's a fact. Who'sa gonna come up wid de cash, huh? God ain't gotta no money. And he ain't havin' any o mine. So push off, eh?"
Rowan Beardy, the Archbish of Canterbury, was also dismissive. "While as Anglicans we recognise the validity of the claim he's making, and fully sympathise with his point of view, at the same time we cannot support him in this peremptory action. Personally I think if he sues anybody it should be Satan. No, not that one, the real one. Leave America alone."