Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 14 November 2007

image for Always knew Imran was a terrorist says ex-wife Jemima Khan
Jemima always thought the cricket bit was just good cover

Lahore, Pakistan - (Whore on Terra Mess): Jemima Khan has shrugged off reports that her famous ex-cricketer former husband Imran Khan has been arrested on terrorism charges after coming out of hiding to lead a demo against Pakistani leader General Musharraf.

"Been saying it for ages, dahling," Jimmy Goldsmith's daughter told avid reporters from Halo! magazine.

"Always suspected Imran was a terrorist from the first time I shagged him.

"Of course I assumed its was IRA stuff because in those days all that cricket stuff was pretty good cover. Same as Tony Blair being a politician or Bob Geldof a singer.

"However, soon as I saw Imran with Ian Botham and Geoff Boycott I could smell the heady whiff of international intrigue about him.

"And it was all so damned exciting at first!

"Sure the cricket part was boring as hell. But I put up with it because I was drawn like a moth to a very seductive lamp.

"Then after a while it just got dead boring. Imran couldn't get it up any more and our sex life suffered.

"So I said to myself Sod this for a lark! and blagged a divorce out of him after Daddy's $$$$s paid off the minders.

"And now it looks like he gonna be thrown into jail! Can you believe it?

"That should keep me in lucrative exlusive interviews for a good five years!

"Ta ra!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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