Written by King David
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Topics: London

Wednesday, 14 November 2007

image for London fire -- signal that another rock band is born?
These water pipes, or "bongs" were the cause of smoke over London recently

It was determined yesterday from fire officials in East London that the cause of the fire which caused black smoke to engulf the London skyline was not actually burning asbestos from a London warehouse, but a sign from party goers in East London that they were in the process of deciding which rock group would be the next to take the world by storm.

"This is very much like Vatican city choosing a pope," said one reveler. "Only we don't have a special chimney. We use bongs."

And, indeed the significance and parallels go not unnoticed comparing the next major rock band with the popularity of the pope. Both draw tremendous crowds in stadiums and many persons pass out either from too much god, or not enough sleep. With the likes of Led Zepplin, The Beatles, The Moody Blues, Elton John, The Rolling Stones, Ozzy Osbourne, David Bowie, The Kinks it is likely that our world will never be the same.

The British Health Protection Agency said smoke containing particles of lead-singer's clothing and skin was unlikely to be a danger for anyone inhaling it. Concern was given only in the instance that the singer's pockets were burned and some good sinsimilian got into the air.

Dave Brown of London Fire Brigade said it was high time revelers voted on a new rock band. "We haven't seen anything new in years," he said of the East London rock-n-roll scene. "It's definitely high time a new star is born."

Londoners will wait patiently for the revelers to make their decision. Black smoke indicates no decision has been made. White smoke indicates that the lead singer has caught on fire and is in desperate need of a fire hose.

No casualties have been reported at the event, only those that were said to have been in quite an extatic state.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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