Black Sea - (Disaster Mess): President Vladimir Putin has blamed an infestation of mating Ukrainian razor clams for the sinking of four Russian ships including an oil tanker which split in half during a heavy storm last night.
"I've heard that these molluscs just lunged at the tanker's hull and caused the spill over 2,000 tonnes of the fuel oil cargo," Putin said on TV today.
"It's the testosterone in them," Putin added, "they can just go wild during the mating season and become a lethal danger to shipping."
The Volgantheft-139 tanker is over 30 years old and was carrying 4,000 tonnes of oil.
Most of this has now mixed with over 30,000 tonnes of sulphur which spilt from three freighter ships that also perished in the Black Sea tempest.
Russian and Ukranian coast guard officials have said this has caused a horrific environmental disaster which is spreading way beyond the original site of the Kerch Strait between the Azov and Black Seas.
"The mixing of all this heavy fuel oil and sulphur will wreak havoc in the seas for decades," a spokesman said, "not to mention putting the kibosh on all those British buy-to-let holiday homes on the coast."