Written by tzdan
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Wednesday, 7 November 2007

image for Rice Visits Middle East, Peace Quickly Established
Apparently the Israeli and Palestinian leaders both love "dope rides and babes", who knew?

JERUSALEM - U.S. Secretary of State Condeleeza Rice is being hailed by Israeli and Palestinian leaders as an international hero after securing peace between the two countries.

Rice, who was meeting with Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas in an attempt to end the bitter, decades-long feud between the two neighbouring countries, quickly found success.

Olmert doled out praise for Rice. "Condy (Rice) was great. She helped us realize our commonalities and forget our differences. I never would have thought I'd have so much in common with Abby (Abbas). Apparently we both love modded-out rides and listening to Linkin Park. Who knew?"

Abbas described how Rice was able foster a relationship between himself and Olmert. "First we did trust exercises. I'd fall and Olly (Olmert) would catch me, then we'd change and I'd catch. Next, she sat us down and told us to let our true feelings out. We shared some tears, and then, all of a sudden we were hugging. Condy is a miracle worker."

Olmert and Abbas, the new "best buds", left the negotiating table trading high-fives. They were said to be headed out on the town, where they would "cruise for babes in Olly's Civic."

This was the latest in a number of highly successful peace negotiations for Rice, who is said to be a shoo-in for the next Nobel Peace Prize.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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