Nobel Prize winner, Al Gore, today announced he has single-handedly found a new major cause of global warming. Haircuts.
Liberal, wacko scientists, as usual, totally agree with Al Gore's finding. They claim that, after a haircut, when the thrown-away hair cuttings decay, they give off massive amounts of green house gases, in hues of blond, brunette and redhead. This contributes to the severe global warming crisis in America, which, according to liberals, is the worst offending nation in everything.
Along with SUV's and outdoor barbecuing, haircutting in America is a serious environmentally unfriendly act, especially when perpetrated by rich men, rich women, actors and politicians, as they get more frequent haircuts than the average poor person.
The world's hair care industry is aghast at Gore's findings. Hollywood haircutter-to-the-stars, Jose Jair, stated, "OMG, all these years when I was charging $500 for a haircut I was contributing to global warming. I'm so sorry. Now that I know, I'll have to raise my price."
And, lastly, as a result of his new findings, Al Gore has personally vowed to get all his hair cut off and, in the interests of science and the environment, go bald.
copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence