Buckingham Palace has denied rumours that the Queen is pregnant by issuing the following official statement directly from the Queen yourself:
'I is not pregnant - I 'as 'ad all me friggin' kids and I ain't got no more eggs in me - get it?? So shut 'ya traps 'ya bunch of lyin' xxxtards!'
The Queen's secretary, Sir Holbut Sinking-Glut, added:
"The Queen is not at all amused and is considering imprisoning anyone who annoys her about this in the tower, where they will be soundly tortured and made to feel very uncomfortable!"
Meanwhile leading doctors across the kingdom have expressed their horror that the Queen should even contemplate wearing lime green, let alone sleep around at her age.