Tokyo, Japan - With the current trend in the airline industry of charging overweight passengers double the fare for taking up two seats, Singapore Airlines announced today it has adopted a similar policy to contend with all the sex its passengers are having in their private double-bedded suites. They will now charge a full adult passenger fare for all children conceived while aboard its international flights, a child's fare on any domestic or connecting flights.
"It's the only way we can get the message across that we are serious about our sex ban aboard our flights," said a spokesman for Singapore Airlines.
Singapore Airlines also justifies the additional charge citing the rising cost of jet fuel as well safety concerns for the fellow passengers and crew members.
"The walls of the private suites are not that thick," explained the spokesman for Singapore Airlines. "They are actually not walls really, just plastic partitions and as a result when an individual, couple, group or what have you are engaged in sexual activity, particularly vigorous sexual activity, it becomes a distraction to all and on many, many occasions quite offensive."
Critics contend that it is a violation of the passengers right to privacy and impossible for Singapore Airlines to prove whether a passenger was impregnated before the flight or after they boarded.
"That's correct on both counts," confirmed the spokesman. "But we will not be the ones violating anyone's right to privacy because it is our airplane."
Singapore Airlines went on to point out that with new TSA full body scan technology, it should be no problem to determine who was pregnant before and after the flight.
"When we catch the couple in the act," explained the Singapore Airlines spokesman. "We will simply compare before and after TSA full body scans to settle that question right when the flight arrives at the airport."
The good news is the expecting couple will be able to purchase baby clothes at the duty free gift shop, added the spokesman.