Written by Mister Meaner
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Saturday, 27 October 2007

image for Christmas Under Threat From Global Warming
"Nah, the Chinese don't give a fuck about Global Warming!"

There are only 59 shopping days left until Christmas, but don't get carried away just yet, because it may be cancelled altogether - due to nasty old Global Warming.

That's because a steady and unabated rise in the world's temperature has melted the ice pack around the North Pole, and toy factories owned by Father Christmas have had to be abandoned, as the sites have become too dangerous to work at.

Seventy factories, operated day and night by local elves, have been shut down by the Health & Safety Executive, and toy and game production has come to a complete standstill.

Unsuspecting children all over the world have gleefully continued to make their Christmas lists, (not always on recycled paper), unaware that their 'sacks will be empty' come the 25th December.

Mike Little, of the National Union of Elves (NUE), said:

"Global Warming is a serious threat. If we don't turn things around, there may not be too many more Christmases."

A statement this morning, though, from The Father Christmas Corporation was released telling children not to worry about a thing, as "bigger, better and more productive factories in China" were more than capable of making up the shortfall.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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