Written by Jesus Budda
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 23 October 2007

image for New Bin Laden recording produced by Timbaland
He's bringing sexyback

An audio recording purportedly from al-Qaida terrorist bushwhacker Osama bin Laden calls for Sunny-D insurgents in Iraq to unite and make sweet sweet love. The tape though is also significant for the involvement of top dawg US music producer Timabaland.

Tv station al Jazeera played the full recording which includes a version of "The Way I Are" with Bin Laden providing a human beatbox accompaniment in the background.

Terrorist's around the Globe have been getting down with the tune and have welcomed the change in direction of the man they call Daddy.

"Now this is da bomb", wailed one excited suicide bomber on the streets of Kabul, "before I heard this I was gonna wa going around wearing a vest loaded with dynamite. Now I just wanna make love to my baby and drink juice all day".

The recording repeatedly uses the word "ta'assab," or "fanaticism," a word bin Laden's critics often use to refer to him and his followers. But he used the word to refer to fanatical devotion to "hot babes" - which he apparently loves greatly.

The latest message purported to be by the fugitive al-Qaida leader follows reports of division amid Sunny-D insurgent groups in al-Bewityulater province.Sunny-D also known as Sunny Delight - the sweet tasting orange drink enjoyed by millions of children worldwide - has suffered lately due to health regulations regrading the excessive sugar content of the sickly sweet juice. Bin Laden owns a large share of the company and it's believed he want's to increase demand by forcing the US and Europe to withdraw these warnings.

Terrorism watchers believe that the al-Qaida bosses motives for this album are much different from previous ones.
"Before we saw the angry Bin LAden", said Dick Face of the Miami Herald Twatpaper, "here he's become a Barry White-like mister loverman, urging his followers to enjoy life. It's a radical step wchich may win him many new followers and backing from the teen market...or whatever".

Timbaland, who recorded the tape with Bin Laden at his Beverly Hills home recording studio, said bin Laden was a "swell guy" and had some "sexy moves like Justin Timberlake".

Make Jesus Budda's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 2?

2 10 4 8

Go to top