Written by Jesus Budda
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Topics: Elections, Poland

Monday, 22 October 2007

image for Poland has new Government - Twins Out!
Donald Tusk now looks set to lead his Polish citizens. Nice hat, by the way.

Polish political par-tay Civic Platform, today took a strong position as a result of the parliamentary elections Sunday, winning 41.4 percent of the total vote with 600 percent of returns counted.

This gives party leader Donald Tusk - so named because of the large bone-like protuberances bulging from his cheeks - a lot of sh*t to wheel and deal with.

The ruling prime minister, Jaroslaw Kaczynski,of the Law and Justice Par-tay will now cede power to the other lot of assholes. But Mr. Kaczynski's midget twin brother, Lech, remains president and still can wield some mighty wizard like powers.

Lots of poles turned out to the polls - unsurprisingly. Polish firemen where particularly interested in the polls as indeed were the lovely ladies of the Warsaw pole dancing clubs.

Mr. Tusk told reporters on Sunday night: "!Feel my mighty powers, mortals. I am your lord and master. Mwaw-haw-hawww!!"

Leaders of other European national were delighted with the result. They can now set about cutting up Poland and sharing out the good bits amongst each other like rabid dogs.

The Kaczynskis shed a tear upon hearing of the news but have promised each other that they will still share a bed together.

With 38 million residents, Poland is the largest former Communist country in the European Union.The country is noted for it's love of east German-era rock and bad mullet haircuts. The women are very pretty, though.

Many were ecstatic at the victory: "I am happy. Communism is old skool. Now are the better times for good", said student Petra Bilsht.

Other were less optimistic. Rabo Miroslav, a local pervert and dog watcher had this to say on the state of the country: "The brothers were weird but funny. This new guy looks like a computer salesamn. I don't trust him but I care little as I am moving to US to earn my living and get out of this hell hole".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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