New York, New York - Concluding her U.S. promotional book tour of the Deathly Hallows in New York City this week, J.K. Rowling dropped the bomb on the pre-adolescent audience gathered at Carnegie Hall to meet their number one fantasy writer by announcing that the loveable teen heartthrob idol and Hogwarts Head Schoolmaster, Dumbledore, is gay.
The unexpected disclosure drew an immediate gasp from the audience then thunderous applause from an impressionable lot, still eager to please their literary heroine.
"I knew it all along," said 42-year-old Soccer Mom, Alice Hinky in attendance at the J.K. Rowling signing with her 8-year-old daughter, Doris.
"Mommy, I thought J.K. Rowling said Dumbledore meant bubble bee?" asked 8-year-old Doris of her mother. "What does 'Gay' mean?"
"Not now Honey. Can't you see, Mommy is talking," responded Hinky to her daughter before readdressing the media. "So where were we?"
Gay rights activist were quick to denounce the announcement as self-serving showboating.
"It's too little, too late, as far as I'm concerned," said a Gay/Lesbian Activist. "If she really felt Dumbledore was gay, then why didn't she write that into the character and storyline?"
Religious conservatives for books already consider J.K. Rowing anti-American and a Satanist. Now she is certain to draw additional fire for her shocking announcement.
"A gay Head Schoolmaster? That's just not a good role model for kids," said a religious conservative. "Not necessary because he's presumably gay either. For God sakes, the man walks around in a robe all day long with children present. What kind of person walks around wearing a robe? It's down right ungodly."