Written by King David
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Topics: Fire, toast

Tuesday, 16 October 2007

image for Man camping inside "giant toaster" incinerated
This man, Ali Farah, found the remains of American, Jacob Pariah in his Airstream trailer

A man camping inside what looked to be a "giant toaster" was found burned to death in the Sahara Desert today. The "toaster," an Airstream trailer, was found in the desert about 100 miles south of the Atlas Mountains and Mediterranean Sea. Family members say that Jacob Pariah left San Francisco back in the summer taking his Airstream on a trip around the world.

"He really loved his land yacht," one family member said. "He wouldn't go without it."

But having his bathroom with him all the time was not the only reason Mr. Pariah took the trailer.

"He loved adventure," said his wife, Mariah Pariah. "And he loved home."

It is common knowledge that Airstreams represent the best and worst qualities of Americans: "the willingness to go anywhere tempered by the simultaneous wish never to leave home." Presidents and Vice-presidents have traveled in Airstreams. For many years, Airstream trailers have been the symbol for "taking it to the road in style."

Evolving from covered wagons and private Pullman cars, Airstreams reinforce the adage Americans love, "having the world at your feet." But for Mr. Pariah the world of style will be defined somewhat differently from now on.

Nomadic emergency services of the northern quarter, which operates on a budget of camels, said that Mr. Pariah's crispy remains were found locked inside of his trailer Monday evening. Apparently it had gotten so hot during the day that the bolt on the lock of his trailer had melted inside of the casing. Since the population is only about one person per square mile, Nomadic authorities could not imagine why anyone would lock his trailer in the desert.

"Our gazelles and baboons are not that smart," commented one official.

Authorities say that there were no eye witnesses to the tragedy and that Mr. Pariah's remains were found by a desert Bedouin who thought he had found an oasis as the "silver bullet" reflected a clear, blue sky.

Meteorologists say that the temperature could have been as high as 140 degrees in the desert on that day, but have no way of knowing since there are no weather stations in the Sahara Desert.

Officials say that the unfortunate event has had the positive effect of generating publicity for the trailers, and, added that, if interest continues, Nomads may be able to purchase their own land yacht from a dealership nearby.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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