Written by IN SEINE
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Topics: Space, World Peace

Tuesday, 9 October 2007

image for New Space Race Forces World Peace!
The Changing Face of China

The World Council announced today, that the earth can no longer sustain its 6.6 billion population and so in order to 'slim' it down somewhat, has decided to 'evacuate' an entire country to the moon before 2040.

It is estimated that China has the largest population and so will have to relocate. Already 50 million conscripts are undergoing intensive space training. Known As 'Chinkonauts', they will need to perform flawless lunar landings. Training is expected to take five years and the first trips should take place within 5 years where 25% of the population will pioneer the building of a lunar base from which to establish a new colony. Conditions are said to be ideal to cultivate an abundant crop of noodles.

The Americans are said to be upset about the idea because they claim to own the moon. The matter will be settled in the World court in the next five years as the only evidence of the American flag is a photograph; and as no one else has been there, there is no physical proof. "People that have bought plots of moon on ebay may discover their purchases to be invalid." said Ivor Scamm, Interstellar Estate agent.

The Mayor of the World, Boris Johnsonovsky said in a conference in Helsinki that: "such a decision needs to be made IMMEDIATELY whilst we still have enough resources to carry it out. Unfortunately every single nation on this planet will have to build at least one 'spaceliner' capable of carrying 1,000 passengers - that's 130 million spaceships required."

"This scheme is so urgent that ALL countries will have to ceasefire with IMMEDIATE effect and pour their cash that they would normally spend on arms into building spacecraft. This will drastically reduce global warming and any nuclear conflicts because we ALL NEED TO WORK TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND!" he added.

This will mean that all future world sporting events such as World Cups and Olympics, F1 motor racing and even charity events will be cancelled. Sir Bob Geldof said: "Dis has gotta be a major f***ing advance in saving the earth - I'm absolutely stunned!" The Pope added his blessing too and promised to sell all the gold in the Vatican city which should be enough to buy 10 Spaceliners. The Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams said "at last mankind has been given the chance to work together for a common goal and that God had made a whole universe for us to discover!"

Designers around the world are invited to submit their designs by late 2008 so that production can begin the following year.

The Duke of Edinburgh is said to be delighted

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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