Bangcock, Thighland (IP) - Scientists reported today that the bird flu has genetically mutated and is now more easily caught by humans. The effect of this new course in the history of this strange illness has the medical profession scratching their heads.
The mutation causes humans to grow feathers and beaks. The persons unfortunate enough to catch this disease then walk around pecking at seeds on the ground and eating worms.
Restaurants in Thighland were quick to react to this phenomenon and are taking full advantage of the situation. They are opening special outlets where the new chicken folks can eat their favorite foods without being embarrassed by others who have yet to catch the disease.
On the menu is corn meal which is spread onto sanitary paper on the floor so the new chicken folk can eat without fear of catching germs. Worms are on the menu also. These special meals are known as Early Bird Specials and are available from 4:00 PM until 6:00 PM. One new advertising slogan being utilized is "The Early Bird Catches the Worm".
One other symptom reported by people who catch the bird flu is a sudden and violent fear of Kentucky Fried Chicken and a strong disdain for chicken, duck, and other bird dishes.
Next week the scientists will issue an update on mad cow disease and its social ramifications.