Written by Mister Meaner
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Wednesday, 3 October 2007

image for Diana Pictures Are "Too Disgusting"
Obtained by The Spoof from Gladys Mopp (cost £300)

Jurors at the inquest into the deaths of Princess Diana and Dodi al Fayed have been prevented from seeing some of the last photographs to be taken of the couple - because they are "too disgusting".

Lord Justice Baker, leading the inquest, told the jury that, although many of the pictures were merely shots of the Princess and her lover trying to avoid being snapped, at least three would be "unfit for the public to view", and promptly tore them into pieces.

Journalists later tried to obtain scraps of the photos by offering a cleaner at London's Royal Courts of Justice £100, but were unsuccessful.

Gladys Mopp, 58, of London, who has cleaned up at the Court for over 40 years, said:

"Aw told 'em - aw won't 'and 'em owver for less than freeundredquid!"

It's thought that the photographs may show the Princess in a 'bad light', and may even be sexually explicit. Theorists theorise that this may have been what caused drunken driver Henri Paul to crash the vehicle in the Pont de l'Alma tunnel.

The only person to survive the crash, Trevor Rees-Jones, now known as 'Mr Rees', has disappeared and is, therefore, unable to verify claims that the couple were 'canoodling'.

The inquest is expected to last for up to six months.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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