Written by Double Diamond
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Tuesday, 2 October 2007

image for Diana inquest "To invent time machine"
Diana, dancing with the Devil

The current inquest into the death of Diana, Princess of Tarts, is to invent a time machine in order to select jury members from the past.

Coroner Lord Justice Scott Baker has expressed concerns with a modern jury being contaminated by 10 years of media speculation into Diana's death.

"Basically this inquest would not be possible without the invention of a time machine" Quoted Lord Baker.

"We intend to go back in time to select 11 jurors, prior to Diana and Dodi Fayed's deaths in 1997. This is because these jurors would be able to provide a balanced, rational perspective throughout the inquest, before being returned to their own timelines"

When questioned as to why the time machine would not be used to prevent the deaths in the first place, Lord Baker declined to comment.

We await developments.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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