Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Nazi, Queen Mother

Friday, 28 September 2007

image for Rudolf Hess had matrimonial visits from Queen Mother: archives
"Would you care for a private view of the videotapes we made of them Your Maj?"

National Records Office, Kew - (Reuterus): Notorious Nazi criminal Rudolf Hess had dozens of priviledged matrimonial visits from the Queen Mother during his 42 years of incarceration in Berlin's Spandau Prison according to newly declassified documents released from the National Archives Orifice.

"They shagged each other rotten," a curatorial note comments on the lurid photographs that accompany the once-secret dossier.

Adolf Hitler's one-time deputy was also the subject of an extraordinary Cold War love tussle between Elizabeth Bowes-Lyons and General Pinochet who became his lover after visiting him allegedly on compassionate grounds.

"But the old Queen Mother forced him to chose between the two of them and of course she won.

"Pinochet was sent home with his tail between his legs and soon satisfied his urges by staging a nasty little coup in his home country of Chile."

Secret British documents about Hess also state that in 1969 George Bush Senior was also allowed to spend a privileged night in the cell at Spandau with the hoary old holocauster.

Bush even demanded a case of Mouton Rothschild '42 to wash down a kilo of caviar that the two of them dined on before consummating their mutual lust in the prison's rubber-lined guest-suite.

Hess was found hanging in a summer house in the prison garden in 1987, aged 93.

Some say he took his own life rather than face any more so-called compassionate grounds matrimonial visits.

Especially when the list of suggested names that the UK Foreign Office supplied started with Cliff Richard.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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