Written by The Macster
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Topics: Microsoft, wheel

Friday, 28 September 2007

image for Microsoft Reinvents Wheel
Old style wheel - just not good enough, say Microsoft

In a dazzling launch event held at Seattle's Space Needle, Microsoft heralded the launch of their latest product - Microsoft Wheel 2.0.

Surrounded by a display of extravagant pyrotechnics, the Seattle based company followed up their forays into the gaming and music player markets by announcing their unexpected excursion into improving upon the most important technological advance in transportation that mankind had ever created.

According to the PR, Microsoft Wheel v2.0 has 3.2Ghz of Intel Processing power, wi-fi and bluetooth connectivity built in. It can be configured using the specialised control panel to prepare the wheel for the type of terrain to be traversed, size of tyre and weight of vehicle and load. It can also surf the internet and has a Windows XP, MSN and a Hotmail account preloaded so users can download the latest wheel drivers whilst on the move.

Countering claims that Microsoft Wheel 2.0 was overly complicated and would confuse most laymen, Microsoft spokesperson Edna Expansionpack countered: "People are used to a wheel in which they can just remove or put on. It has no memory and cannot play MP3's but just rolls around on the ground. Microsoft Wheel 2.0 is a 5000 per cent improvement in functionality on standard wheels and people will very quickly get used to this."

We showed the wheel to a mechanic having a cigarette break outside a local garage. He commented. "That's all very nice but square wheels don't tend to work that well."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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