New York - (Ass Mess): The Tehran and Isfahan Lesbians Collective said today that it's had the best laugh of its entire existence after watching Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad tell a New York's Columbia University Medical School dinner "there are no homosexuals in Iran!"
Addressing Columbia's prestigious School of Psychiatric Medicine Ahmadinejad said boldly:
"We don't have homosexuals like in your country because we are genetically different from you Americans and have none of that diseased sperm inside our testicles that creates these vile monstrosities among your men and women."
Meanwhile in Tehran's downtown area the lesbians Collective were secretly celebrating their second centenary with a lavish twenty course dinner at the famous Golden Nuggets Kebab Restaurant.
Officially the Collective goes under the moniker of The Daughters of the Revolution and The Tehranian Mothers' Union.
"We like to keep a low profile," their spokeswoman said today.
"The concept of lesbianism is anathema to most Iranian males.
"They have trouble enough accepting heterosexual women as it is, so adding yet another variation on a theme would send them apoplectic, probably."