WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - In a surprise development, President George Bush has proposed to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad after the Iranian leader spoke at New York's Columbia University.
"Wow, that guy makes a lot of sense," said Bush upon hearing the speech. "I love that Persian accent of his."
Ahmadinejad spoke on Monday amidst a huge campaign by US media and politicians to demonize him and the government of Iran in preparation for a possible US military attack.
But Bush became enamored of the Iranian leader upon seeing him speak on a widescreen TV.
"Gosh," gushed Bush, "He accepts that the Holocaust happened and never said he wanted to destroy Israel. Why have all those crazy Zionists been lying to me about that stuff? Mahmoud looked so noble and sexy too. Whatta guy. He is the man for me!"
Bush went on to regret that the USA had invaded Iraq based on a campaign of lies just to grab its oil for American oil companies, and at the cost of one million Iraqi lives and tens of thousands of US lives.
He immediately ordered his officials to cease planning an attack on Iran.
"OMG, we are the real terrorists," Bush sobbed. "He is right! The warmongering USA and land-thieving Israel are the real problems that this world faces."
"My government has conducted a bloody and illegal occupation of Iraq, torture at Abu Ghraib, Guantánamo Bay and dozens of other sites, and it shows a complete contempt for international law and a constant campaign of military aggression," he cried.
Bush hoped that Ahmadinejad would accept his proposal and would teach him some morality in an intimate nuptial relationship.
"Iran certainly has the right to pursue a nuclear energy program as part of its membership in the International Atomic Energy Agency," shouted Bush. He also denounced America for supporting Saddam Hussein during the Iran-Iraq War in the 1980s, and he regretted US support for groups that carry out terrorist attacks in Iran.
"I'm sorry we shot down that Iranian jetliner too," said a contrite Bush.
"The greatest danger to the world's population is not the Iranian government, but American imperialism," Bush said sadly. "Having launched the Iraq war on the basis of lies, our political establishment and our media are now again preparing for a war with the great nation of that wonderful guy. We always do this sort of thing when the US faces financial and economic difficulties. This is so unfair and unjust."
There was no immediate response by Ahmadinejad to Bush's proposal, and Laura Bush had no comment.
--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire