San Bernadino, California (IP) - Ebay corporation spokespersons report that they are in the final phase of negotiation with business, religious, military, and government leaders in their effort to take over the world. It is believed that when we all wake up on Monday morning that we will all Ebayers and no longer Americans, Englishmen, Germans, etc.
Folks will no longer be required to show up for work. Their new job will be to stay home and buy and sell on Ebay. Everything will be up for auction including food, medical services, retail goods, cars, and even funeral services. Senseless religious conflicts will finally come to an end.
The feed back that you receive determines your fate. If you accumulate too many negative feed backs you go to E-prison.
Paypal will be the only form of currency and banking transactions.
One immediate effect of this new reality will be the rapid reversing of global warming. Most folks will stay home and do their work from there. The majority of folks doing any traveling will be delivery personnel delivering the goods bought and sold on Ebay.
Ebay is in the process of delivering special computers to every living person on the planet in order to facilitate the implementation of the new reality. The computers will serve as communication and entertainment centers for every home. Do not attempt to resist. Resistance is futile. The rat race is finally over.