Pearly Gates, Heaven (IP) - Our reporter has just learned that God is fed up with the Earth and the rest of the solar system and has put them up for sale on eBay. Shipping fees will be around $5.96.
The Peruvian meteorite and the O.J. Simpson thing were the last two straws. God says he is already tired of seeing the O.J. Simpson thing nonstop on TV and also he does not look forward to the 2008 political ads that will soon hit the air waves.
So far Beelzebub is the highest bidder at $1.98. He seems to have a lot of negative feedback judging by the red ink on his feedback status. Beelzebub lost a recent eBay auction to a small boy who lives near Lake Okeechobee. The boy won the Mount Palomar observatory and Beelzebub was not real happy about it. The boy has grown bored with the 200 inch telescope and his family is currently using it as a rack to hang clothes on.