Written by Kent Pete
Print this
Topics: Penis

Friday, 14 September 2007

image for Man's Penis 'Burned Like A Torch'
Andrey screams as nurse applies yet more ointment to his Denzil.

A man is recovering after his ex-wife set fire to his penis in a fit of frustration.

The injury was 'monstrously painful'. She lost her temper as he sat watching TV - naked save a short telnyashka and sipping cheap Russian vodka.

It is not clear if the man will make a full recovery. Further it is not clear if the man wants to make a full recovery.

A Moscow policewoman said: "It's difficult to predict how he will be. This kind of thing is not unusual in Russia. I would say , on average, 10-15 woman per month set fire to their partner's Perestroika in this town alone."

The attack was apparently the climax of three years of self enforced co-habitation.

The couple divorced three years ago but continued to share a small flat together for reasons that are not altogether apparent.

Talking to our Russian correspondent, their neighbour Katerina Sidorov said,

"Andrey and Elena had a love/hate relationship .He loved her, she hated him. I always knew it would end up in Elena setting fire to Andrey's Lad. I told his mother but she didn't want to listen. This will be the third of her son's to lose their manhood at the hands of that quirky bitch".

"It was monstrously painful," the injured man told reporters.

"I was burning like a torch. I don't know what I did to deserve this. I should have learnt from my brothers Leonid and Vladimir. This woman is bad news."

However rather poignantly he added,

"But you know a part of me would still have her back tomorrow."

The story does however go to show that despite their rather austere reputation Russian men are actually right dopey bastards.

Make Kent Pete's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 2?

5 6 10 4
36 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more