Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 13 September 2007

image for Dennis Kucinich Secures U.S. Moslem Vote With Anti War Speeches in Middle East
The last clean shaven picture you'll see of this man

Democratic Presidential hopeful and Congressman Dennis Kucinich secured the very small minority Moslem support today in his campaign for the presidency. Speaking from the Middle East, he blasted the participation in the war by the western allies.

Vowing to grow a beard and being wearing a tobe and turban, Kucinich vowed to support the cause of the Islamic nations in his campaign. He will also begin drinking goats milk and praying towards Mecca each morning and evening.

"I have to get votes from somewhere," he said. "I kind of figured that this was a minority that none of the other guys were taking advantage of. Romney's got the Mormons. Guliani's got the wife cheaters, Obama's got the blacks, Hillary has the dykes, Edwards has the cancer victims (those that will still be alive when the primaries and elections come around), and Richardson has the hispanics. What was left?"

In thanks for his support and in exchange for their votes, OPEC donated a herd of camels to help on the campaign trail. They have also promised lower priced crude oil and gas below $2.00 a gallon if Kucinich is elected.

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