The creator of the Universe and everything that exists was left red-faced today after his pocket money was stolen during a trip to the shops.
"Thieving bast*ards stole my pocket money",said an extremely agitated God, "as if I don't have enough sh*t to be dealing with as it is".
The culprits are futher described as being Asian and middle-aged which has led police sources to guess that it may have been the work of Pakistani leader Pervez Musharif and his little brother Brian. The two have previously taken candy from babies, snatched apples from an old womans apple tree and staged a military coup.
"Wait until I get my hands on them",warned God, "there'll be blimmin' murder!"