Portuguese police have drafted in former British paediatrician Professor Sir Roy Meadow to help with the prosecution of Kate and Gerry McCann.
Meadow, whose evidence helped convict a string of innocent women of killing their children, lives in disgraced exile in a castle in Monaco made entirely of gold, earned from his prosecution fees. His dictum that "one sudden infant death is a tragedy, two is suspicious and three is murder, until proved otherwise" became known as Meadow's Law. His evidence was accepted by many judges and juries because he was believed to be an eminent expert in his field.
Meadow told us:
"The finding of Madeleine's DNA in the McCanns' villa and the fact that Mrs McCann's fingerprints are all over her daughter's toys prove statistically that she did it.
"The chances of two different English mothers each going out to Portugal and being responsible for the disappearances of their daughters while eating at a tapas bar are infinitesimal, about 1 in 100 million. Therefore, she must be guilty."
Although discredited and struck off by the British Medical Association for being a toe rag, Meadow was reinstated by a High Court judge after being confused by statistics about the chances of more than one paediatrician giving inaccurate evidence in a British court. The BMA appealed to the Court of Appeal which upheld the decision by a 2-1 majority. Clever judge Sir Anthony Clarke, who disagreed with the other two, told Meadow:
"You may have fooled my colleagues with your statistics, but I still think you're a toe rag."
Although Meadow has retired from practice in Britain because nobody wants to employ him any more, other countries with crap legal systems, like Portugal, are crying out for warped experts like him to give evidence against innocent defendants.
What a toe rag!