Written by Mister Meaner
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Thursday, 6 September 2007

image for Monks Get Shirty In Burma
Always sleep with one eye open when in Burma

Monks at a monastery in Burma have attacked and frightened twenty security officials who were trying to get some much needed rest after taking part in a jungle operation to quell anti-government forces in the north of the country.

The officials arrived at the monastery in Pakkoku, about 300 miles north of Rangoon, just before nightfall, and were shown to a dormitory where they were told they could spend the night.

Once they had fallen asleep however, they became the victims of a frenzied and sustained attack by the monks, who had not eaten for nearly two weeks. The terrible onslaught lasted for nearly two minutes, before a senior abbot intervened, and suggested a game of paper, rock, scissors instead.

Worshippers at the Buddhist temple in the town applauded as the monks, armed with AK-47 assault rifles and hand grenades, paraded their captives in the streets while chanting gibberish.

They eventually allowed their prisoners to go free minus all their clothes including their underpants, which they then ate.

Earlier this week, US President George W. Bush condemned a crackdown by the Burmese authorities.

"It's inexcusable that we've got this kind of tyrannical behaviour in Asia," he said, adding, "we in America should have the monopoly on that."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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