Catatonia, Italy - (Disaster Press): Italy's Catatonia-Fontanarossa international airport was closed last night as a precaution after Mount Etna began erupting ahead of expected massive seismic activity five thousand miles away at Alaska's Pavlof volcano site.
The airstrip was evacuated as a thick column of ash rained down on neighboring towns near the site.
"We're prepared for the worst," local fire crews said as emergency measures kicked into place to close down the entire region.
In the Vatican the mood was less sombre. A pontifical Orifice source said today that they were well used to seing colorful plumes of smoke "over St Peter's Square and elsehere" so a "bit of Catatonic fuming was hardly a bother".
Nevertheless the Pope will pray in his customary public audience today for divine intercession to keep any volcanic disaster away from the region.