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Tuesday, 4 September 2007

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EU Blunder

People awoke in Europe today to find their lives turned upside down. Reports Jim Wilson, from the Centre for the Study of Europe (CSE). To enhance the boundaries of the EU edict no 12356/07 was initiated from Brussels at midnight CET today. This has produced some startling results. People in Scotland woke up to find their northern boundary included Iceland, while Eire found half of Greenland within their territory.

But the most bizarre change involves Dewi Morgan a farmer in Powys who has been working the family dairy farm on the Herefordshire border. Due to adverse market forces, foot and mouth, the death of his wife, and severe lumbago Dewi was reportedly planning to put the farm on the market and retire. But the mandarins in Brussels have given him a shot in the arm. By redrawing the Welsh border eastwards into England the town of Kington in the county of Herefordshire has effectively become part of Dewi's farm.

'I'm flabbergasted see,' exclaimed Dewi. 'I was a bit skint but now I have three banks, and a building society on the farm. I had a phone call from the town Mayor who said it seemed a bit silly him being mayor when I owned the farm, so I'm taking over the duties myself. And I'm going to the police station to get my speeding ticket scrapped.'

Dewi seems to be relishing his new status as farmer/town owner, but we have yet to hear from the people of Kington themselves who are still reeling from the announcement that after all these past centuries considering themselves English, they are now Welsh. No contact has been possible with anyone in Brussels who may shed some light on this bureaucratic mess, continues the report; partly because the French are still coming back off holiday, and the Germans aren't owning up to anything.

The only ones celebrating with Dewi is Plaid Cymru, the Party of Wales. Errin Morgan, AM for Mid. Wales, is quoted as saying from the WAG in Cardiff. 'Our policy of independence for Wales has been vindicated by the EU, in fact they have given us a bit of a boost. For political, and fiscal, reasons we will be holding onto Kington.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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