Written by Jesus Budda
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Topics: Toilet

Sunday, 2 September 2007

image for Japanese Talking Toilets go on strike
Now, wash your hands you dirty little shit

Japanese Talking Toilets have gone on strike in Tokyo, bringing the entire city to a halt.

The Japanese are noted for their manners and cleanliness and the talking toilets were introduced to encourage them to expel waste rather than storing it up, which was a major contributor to numerous health issues in the country and an attack on Pearl Harbor.

The Toilets dispute relates to working conditions and pay, which they find unacceptable.

"We are payed in toilet paper", says the head of the toilet Union, "we must put up with lots of sh*t.They expect us to even wash their asses and all for a few lousy sheets of used toilet roll".

Shitsuke Fukitup,28, is just one of millions of troubled citizens. "Oh, my God", he yelped, "now I know why the old folk bowed over all the time. I don't think I can keep it in!".

The Toilet Union are willing to negotiate but only if their main demands are met, namely:

  • pay in cash;
  • full rights to sell footage on internet of toilet users habits


"They can go f*ck themselves", said one city official,"I'm sh*tting in a bucket instead".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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