Written by Jesus Budda
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Topics: Gay, Penis, vagina, asshole

Sunday, 2 September 2007

Dave Pekering, the Briitsh citizen who holds the world record for having the largest penis, has dumped his Russian girlfriend in order to date a man.

"I'm very sorry for how I treated Marishka", said Dave, "she was a lovely girl. But it was never going to work out between us, what with her having the smallest vagina in the world and me with my cock.It was just inevitable".

Only a few days ago, Dave announced his love for Marishka, but has now admittd that he was hiding his true feelings.

"I was hiding who I really am, trying to appear hetrosexual by dating a woman", admits Dave,"I think it's time to come out of the closet and admit I'm gay.And what better way than by going out with Tim".

The Tim he's refering to is Tim Jaffacake, a bilingual orthadontist with a massive asshole.

"Me being with Tim", smiles Dave, "is like the perfect fit".

We will keep a close watch on this personal drama.Who knows what other secrets Dave is hiding...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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