It took a team of over one hundred of the worlds greatest scientific minds, and a period of 46 years to reach their final conclusion.
"We looked at it from various differing perspectives", said Dr Suhk Mydik, "and the conclusion is basically that shit happens".
The team, which was backed by funding from the Institute of Wastefullness, included 8 Nobel Prize winners and a guy who sh*ts standing up.
"Our team was incredible", said Dr Mydik, "not once did we loose sight of our goal and we never let personnal problems affect our professional life - except for that one incident involving the Japanese doctor and the pencil".
Critics have hit out at the waste of money, "calling it a travesty of logic".
But Dr Mydik sees it differently. "They're just a bunch of moany bast*rds", he shouted.