New York, New York - The U.N. announced yesterday that it found minute amounts of phosgene, a chemical warfare agent, which causes choking attacking the lungs. The WWI warfare agent was properly contained and appropriately marked a public hazard in intact small vials used to transport such substances. The discovery was made at a separate facility a block away from the U.N.'s main Manhattan complex. The discovery is particularly alarming among liberals, as it has them fearing that Bush was right all along.
Apparently, the vials were sent over to New York from Iraq more than 10 years ago. However, that did not stop Bush from hesitating in calling for an immediate air strike on the U.N. Manhattan building. Or ordering an invasion of the U.N. by a large ground force contingent.
However, since the military was occupied in Iraq, instead of Afghanistan, all that were available was a NYPD S.W.A.T. team, and some of them were too busy allegedly brawling with the NYFD for pissing rights off the Brooklyn Bridge.
Reportedly, New York officials were able to delay Bush's order by repeatedly reminding him that the hazardous materials were safely stored and supervised by trained U.N. officials and located a block away at an off site facility from the main U.N. building. However, after a momentary pause of reflective thought, Bush ordered the attack just the same, citing it was best to err on the side of caution.
Fortunately, however, the delay gave New York officials just enough time to get Cheney on the phone who eventually gave the word to call off the pending attack, ordering all military and civilian forces to stand down. Only, reportedly, he too hesitated for a paused a moment of reflective thought.
"The strange thing is," said a New York Police Department Lieutenant who spoke with Cheney on the phone. "I swear. I could almost hear him thinking about it out loud. You know, like he was calculating the pros and cons before he finally decided to call off the attack."
On Thursday, the FBI safely removed the hazardous materials from the U.N. building.
Ironically, the vials were located in were the U.N. Monitoring and Verifications Commission (UNMOVIC) was housed. It is the very unit responsible for inspections for possible WMD's and was in the process of shutting down operations when the vials were found among its office equipment.
On Friday, however, the UN reactivated the UNMOVIC unit and ordered it to inspect itself for the presence of any other possible WMD's.