Written by Clement Paulson
Print this
Topics: Food, business

Wednesday, 10 March 2004

image for GM Food© Manufacturers Talk Business!
The spokesman today

In a shock announcement today, GM food manufacturers said that they had successfully applied to copyright the word "food". "Food©", as it will now be known, will continue to be available, for now, but the spokesman said that no undertakings about the future availability of Food© could be made.

"The consumer will have to accept that the interests of our shareholders are at stake. While most of our shareholders are also consumers of Food©, we will be informed by the marketplace and the principles of good business."

"This may well have an effect on the availability, and therefore the price, of Food© in the future", he said.

"Branding and product diversification will be at the heart of our strategy, and we intend to roll out a range of branded edible clothing products in order to appeal to the youth market. If that doesn't increase our turnover, I'll eat my hat", he continued.

The spokesman did, however, commit the manufacturers of Food© to an extensive programme of good corporate governance and sustainable development. "We are adamant that we must support the needs of the small third world farmer in every way possible", he said.

"Only in this way will we be able to include lots of pictures of smiling ethnic-looking people in our annual report, and ensure that the management of our tax liability continues at the highest standard."

The spokesman then felt unwell and excused himself, explaining that it must have been something he ate.

Make Clement Paulson's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 plus 5?

5 9 6 17
45 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more